


John, We’re Boring!

by cdelbridge



Category: Sherlock (TV), johnlock - Fandom
Genre: Kink Exploration, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 18:01:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30143442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cdelbridge/pseuds/cdelbridge
Summary: Sherlock decides they need to explore kinks in their sex life.
Relationships: Johnlock
Comments: 42
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

“John,” Sherlock Holmes was facedown on their bed, covered in come, “we’ve become an old married couple. We’re boring.”

John Watson, flat on his back, also covered in come, said, “I think I’m offended.” He thought for a minute then added, “how do you figure?”

“We haven’t tried anything new in forever!” The detective rolled over onto his back and continued, “we don’t have any quirks, kinks or fetishes! Even my brother and Lestrade are into BDSM. We’re vanilla.”

John thought for a moment and said, “Says the man with a closet full of sexy lingerie and a drawer full of toys! OK, I don’t think we’re boring but I could be up for some spice. What are you suggesting?”

Sherlock glared at the ceiling, “haven’t you ever wanted to try something different? I mean there are things I don’t understand the point of but I’m game to try most things at least once. Maybe twice.”

“OK,” the doctor said thoughtfully, “are we going to make lists and pick something?”

“Eventually. OK, how about we shower before the come totally dries then research kinks and such. Make a list of things you’d like to try, things you’d try if the circumstances were right and another of “no way in hell”. We meet back and compare notes.” Sherlock sat up enthusiastically. “We can combine lists and take turns picking new things to try.”

”OK, works for me.” John sat up and moved to get off the bed. “Cold come is disgusting!” He turned back to his spouse, “wait, what about the “no way in hell” section?”

”Depends on the kink, doesn’t it?!” Sherlock stood up and joined his spouse heading to the shower, “isn’t that what alcohol is for?”


	2. Oh Sherlock...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting to work on the kinks!

Sherlock was engrossed in his laptop screen as he made notes with his right hand. He felt like such an innocent! Seriously, he thought as he shuddered delicately, you want to put what on my balls??? 

He’d set up three different lists for things to try (or not) and was contemplating a fourth list (for “Fuck No But We Have To Watch A Porn Where They Do This!”) when he sensed a change in the air. Picking up his head, he noticed John’s seat was empty and turned to the doorway when his pulse quickened and his mouth fell open.

“You say you don’t have any kinks Private Holmes,” John purred from the doorway, “but you and I both know that’s not true.” Captain Watson, in army fatigues, dog tags and combat boots, entered the room.

Sherlock gulped and felt his recently used cock perk up. Fuck, he’d really thought he’d hid it better.

“Is that how you greet a superior officer?” John asked. “The army must have really been desperate when they allowed you in.” He’d moved to within a foot of his husband, “on your feet soldier.”

Our detective jumped like he’d been jabbed with a fork. Standing at attention, and his very excited dick clamoring for attention, he looked straight ahead.

Captain Watson looked him up and down, “hmmm, they couldn’t have wanted you for your potential soldiering.” He paced back and forth in front of his spouse, “What do you think Private Holmes?”

Sherlock gulped and said, “I don’t know sir.” His erection was totally out of hand now.

”Maybe they allowed you in for that mouth,” John got closer and looked his husband up and down. “Is that an erection I spy?”

”Yes sir.”

”Well, Private, why don’t you show me what that pretty mouth can do.” He undid his fatigues, “on your knees Private Holmes.”

Sherlock fell to his knees and looked under his lashes at his spouse, “permission to take you in my mouth Captain.” He could feel his cock leaking in his pants. Damn John for knowing him so well!

”Permission granted. And if you’re good, maybe I’ll let you get yourself off.” His cock slid into his husband’s mouth. “Maybe.”

Private Holmes took the proffered cock in his mouth, carefully opening his throat and taking him all in. With his nose buried in neatly trimmed, blonde pubic hair, he paused and then got to work. He intentionally moved slow to make his spouse crazy but also to urge him on. He didn’t have to wait long.

”Are you teasing me Holmes?” John’s voice was rough. “Maybe I should show you how to treat your betters.” He wrapped his fingers in his husband’s curls and pounded his mouth.

Secretly, this was what the detective wanted. He loved when Captain Watson came out to play. Keeping pace with his husband’s fingers, he sucked the cock in front of him, periodically pulling off to lick the accompanying balls. It wasn’t until his hand moved to his own neglected erection that John spoke.

”Did I say you could do that?” The hand moved back. “You really do have a lovely mouth, Private. I’m tempted to show you to my mates and let them try you out.” Sherlock moaned around the cock in his mouth. “I’ll tell you what, I’m about to come, if you’re good and don’t spill a drop, I’ll let you get yourself off.” He looked down at the beautiful man in his knees and started to come. “Here I come!” He yelled as he thrust harder into his husband’s mouth.

Sherlock opened his throat as he felt the first pulse of come. Sucking and licking until his Captain was done, he pulled off and licked him clean although he hadn’t spilled a drop. Done, he sat back on his heels and waited, eyes downcast.

”That was very nice, Private. You do have a use I see.” John wiped his spent cock off on Sherlock’s shirt and said, “would you like to get yourself off now?”

”Yes sir.” His cock was so hard it hurt. “Please.”

”OK, but stand in front of me, I really want to see your cock.” John sat down on their sofa, reclining casually. “Come now Private, out with it.”

Sherlock stood, still not looking at John, undid his trousers and pulled out his cock.

“Very nice Private. Now let me watch you get yourself off.”

Sherlock knew he wouldn’t last long and he didn’t although he wasn’t surprised when John broke character and wrapped his mouth around his cock as he came. Tugging John to his feet, Sherlock whispered, “OK, I have a military kink, you’ve figured it out. Want to see what I’ve found?”

Hugging his spouse tightly, John said, “yes although I’m sure some of it will make me scream!”

”You have no idea.” Sherlock said into the short, blonde hair. “No idea at all.”


	3. You Have A Kink John!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock explains

“So I admit to my military kink, John. Although only to you.” Sherlock was sitting on his side of their partners desk. He watched as his husband smirked and sat down on his side, before he continued, “however, you have your own kinks.”

“I don’t think so.”

”Quirofilia, John.” At his husband’s blank look, he elaborated, “you have a fetish for hands. Specifically, large ones like mine.”

The doctor sat with his mouth open for a few seconds before he collected himself and said, “don’t think so.”

”Want me to prove it?” He went on before John could say anything, “remember the day we met?”

”Of course!” The doctor smiled, “how could I forget?”

”Well, when you walked in and I asked to borrow Stamford’s phone.” John nodded, his husband continued, “he didn’t have his but you volunteered yours.”

”Uh huh,” John made encouraging sounds.

”You handed me your phone. I noticed how small your hands seemed in comparison to mine.” The detective smirked, “so did you. You gulped, looked at the floor and the tips of your ears got red. By the time I twirled my way out the door, showing you my hands several more times, you had the beginnings of a massive erection.” He smirked at his husband, “shall I go on?”

”Just because...” John began as he stood up.

”My darling doctor has several tells. My favorite time though had to be right after we became intimate.” John looked at the floor. “You remember, we were both naked, erect and so turned on, it was painful. I thought you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.” John’s ears were red. “I wrapped one of my hands around both of our cocks and you almost came right then. I started to stroke us both at the same time and you melted.” John gulped audibly. “Is that an erection I spy John?”

”OK,” our good doctor addressed the floor, “maybe I like your hands. You know what they say,” he looked up, “big hands, big feet, big meat.”

”Nice try but we’ll get to your foot fetish later.” Sherlock stood in front of his husband and said, “in fact, I bet I can get you off without touching you.”

”Sherlock, don’t you have something to work on?” John asked.

”Yes, I do.” The detective sucked his fingers meditatively, “you!”

John gulped.

Our detective sat back down, then rolled up his sleeves to expose his hands better and got to work. He placed those hands, lightly clasped together, in front of him then flexed the fingers as if he was stretching. Seemingly without thought, he took his wedding band and moved it around his finger, up and down then twirling it around. John’s eyes were glued to his husband’s hands. Sherlock reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a bottle of lotion. Putting some in his palm, he thoroughly moisturized his hands and wrists. Looking at his laptop screen, he sucked meditatively on his thumb, John groaned. “I bet you’d be more comfortable, not to mention you’d make less of a mess, if you took your cock out.” Sherlock smirked, “just trying to be helpful.”

”I can resist you.” John said hoarsely.

”No you can’t.” Sherlock sucked three of his fingers into his mouth and began giving his hand head (to be inelegant about it).

John let out a muffled scream and came untouched as he leaned against the sitting room wall. His head thumped against the wall as he shuddered.

”Good thing it’s your turn to do the laundry!” Sherlock smirked as he reclined in his chair. “Love you.”


	4. Sherlock Takes Charge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is busy so Sherlock takes his turn

“John! Are you on your way home? SH”

“Just leaving. Did you need something?”

“Nope! Just planning the festivities for tonight! SH”

“Oh dear god! Do I want to know?”

“You’ll see when you get home! Love you! SH”

”Love you! I’m game for almost anything but please, no water sports!”

”Please John! I only pee on you in the shower. SH”

”WHAT?!?!?!”

”What? Hurry home! SH”

~~~~~~~~~

Knowing his husband, John was a little leery when he opened the door. No tall, hormone laden spouse in sight. There was a fire in the grate though and a nice bottle of wine. The doctor moved into the sitting room and took off his coat.

“Hello John.” His husband’s voice purred, there was really no other word for it. Turning to the doorway, he felt his jaw drop.

Sherlock often overdid things and, as has been mentioned, was gorgeous. Those two traits were now combined into one beautiful man wearing black silky lingerie (corset and thong), thigh-high stockings with (John gulped) a seam up the back and sky-high black heels. His face was subtly made up as well and his hair teased out. He looked delicious.

“Oh you are so turned on!” Sherlock walked casually towards his husband, his legs looking miles long, as he towered over the diminutive doctor. The detective leaned down and kissed his mouth. “Your ears are red!” He turned and walked back to the doorway, John felt faint. “See, this combines a couple of our kinks and fetishes. We both like lingerie, you have a foot fetish,” he held up a finger as his husband began to protest, “and the combination of the hosiery and heels has made you erect and dripping.” John shifted his bulge uncomfortably. “I suggest that you get pretty as well, I laid out my favorite outfit for you, have some wine and maybe I’ll spank you.” Sherlock grinned evilly. “We really are kinkier than I thought.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“This isn’t exactly how I imagined your kink/fetish idea going.” John reentered the sitting room a short while later. “We haven’t even looked at our lists!” He picked up his wine glass and sipped.

”I thought we could explore our kinks then branch out.” Sherlock took in his husband’s appearance with a grin. While the detective could carry off any color, his husband preferred red or black lingerie. Tonight, he was swathed in a black silk and lace ensemble including bra, panties, garter belt, hose and moderate heels. “In a couple days, we’ll be well on our way to things we’ve never thought of.”

”I’m afraid to ask.” John admitted. “Name a weird one. I’ll try not to scream.”

”Spectrophilia!” The detective announced as he sipped his wine. At John’s baffled look, he elaborated, “sexual attraction to ghosts.”

”How is that even possible?” John asked. “Although if you were a ghost, I’d want your arse.”

”Now,” Sherlock reclined in his chair, legs spread, “let’s discuss what you’d like to do with this arse.”

~~~~~~~~~

”So,” John giggled, “we are so dressed up and have no where to go.”

”Well, we do look nice.” Sherlock smoothed his corset. “What are you thinking?”

”Remember that club we went to with the flamingos at the door?” John sat up with a grin. “I say we take our sexy arses there. We can dance, become inebriated and maybe get into an orgy!”

”Oh!!! It’s been awhile since we’ve been in an orgy!” Sherlock bounced up. “Call a cab! Standing out on the street like this could be bad.”

”You know,” John picked up his mobile, “is this another kink?”

”Yes! Who knew we had so many!” Sherlock said happily. 


	5. What Next?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys reconnoiter.

“We can cross several more kinks off our lists!” Sherlock was standing on the sofa staring at the papers tacked to the wall. “Last night was really great!”

“Yes it was!” John was standing properly on the floor, looking up at his sexy spouse. “I think every once in awhile you need a good orgy to clear the mind.”

”Exactly! There’s something about being done from both ends that just takes all my cares away!” Sherlock and John grinned at each other. “I thought of another one to add to my, “fuck no!” list.”

”I’m almost afraid to ask but gimme.” John leaned against their partners desk just in case his spouse’s pronouncement caused him to trip.

”Ok, two things. Ready?” John gestured impatiently. “Necrophilia and beastiality.”

The doctor shuddered, “yuck! Although I was thinking of trying pet play. Totally different thing.”

”Totally different. So, I guess it’s your turn to choose.” Sherlock, still standing on the furniture, turned to face his spouse. “Any ideas?”

”Yes but give me an hour or so to work out the details, OK?” His husband nodded. “In the meantime, why don’t we eat lunch.”

~~~~~~~~~

”Let me check and make sure my knots are comfortable, ok?” John bounced around the sitting room happily. “You have your safe word, right?”

Sherlock nodded from the rug in front of the fireplace. He was naked, flat on his front, arms tied above his head and legs spread wide and tied to the desk legs. He moved experimentally and the plug in his arse shifted divinely. He moaned and said, “yes John.”

His husband leaned down and said, “and tell me again what that word is?”

”Vatican cameos. Not something I’m likely to randomly shout out.” Sherlock shifted again and said, “Jesus John, you haven’t even done anything and I’m hard and drippy.”

”Remember the other night when you made me come untouched with the hand kink?” Sherlock nodded with a smile. “Well I’m going to get you off but I’m going to touch you. Or, actually, my whip is. A lot.”

Sherlock moaned, “not sure how long I’m going to last!”

”You think I’m going to let you come right away?” John took their new whip and ran the tip between his husband’s arsecheeks. Sherlock twitched but managed to stifle his moans. “I intend to get you to the edge and maybe, maybe I’ll let you come.” He stood and lightly (relatively) swatted the beautiful butt cheeks.

Sherlock jerked and moaned loudly. “John!”

The doctor leaned down and kissed the welt. The sexy arse was covered in goose flesh. He smiled, took the tip of the plug and lightly jiggled it. The groan he got in return went straight to his cock.

”Jesus Christ John!” Sherlock tried to rub himself against the floor but was unable to find friction. He received a sharp swat against his right cheek. He really wasn’t going to last. He moaned loudly.

John had purposely placed his spouse so he couldn’t see him, knowing the unknown would add to the excitement. He added a lick to his husband’s left shoulder blade followed by a kiss. “God I love you!”

”Love you John!” The welts were on fire and it felt so unbelievably good. He instinctively tried to thrust but was denied again. Fuck!

Another flick of the whip to the lower back. John knew he had used it all he was going to that day (there’s a fine line between pleasure and too much pain) and he trailed the tip back through his husband’s butt crack. To his surprise, Sherlock stiffened and yelled.

”Did you just come?” John was absolutely amazed.

”Told you I wouldn’t last! But no, you didn’t believe me!”

”Do you mind if I make use of your hole?” John was already pulling his erection out of his pants.

”Of course not!” Sherlock looked over his shoulder. “Lube in your pocket?”

“Of course.” He slicked his cock up then removed the plug from his husband’s arse. As he slid in, he whispered in Sherlock’s ear, “next time I’ll remember the cock cage.”


End file.
